外貿老鳥點評的5個開發信前後案例(1/2) 外貿B2B、B2C

案例1:

Dear Sirs, 

Have a good day! 

This is  Sam from ABC factory producing Gloves. I am gald to know that you are a leading wholesaler of gloves. Hope to establish a good business relationship with you. 

 

評:開頭有點平淡。無法讓客戶立即感受到跟你合作有什麼好處,或者建立關聯。 

 

Our factory is one of the biggest glove factories in China with already 10 years’ history. We can provide you good quality gloves with good price and service. We have a lot of advantages for all kinds of Glove styles, Ladies, Men’s, Kids. Attached are some pictures of our products and workshops for your reference. Please check and let me know what kind of gloves you are interested, or you can show your styles for our offering. 

 

評:公司介紹部分是典型的以product feature來介紹。也不能讓客戶產生關聯感,以及有什麼好處。另外缺少支撐點。人人都會說我是最大最好的。

 

We would like to take this opportunity to establish business relationship with you.If you want to know more about us, you can add me on your Skype or E-mail or visit our website as below my E-Business card. Maybe it is a start of our business.   If you are interested in our goods, pls let me know . If you will attend the coming Canton Fair at April,2014 , pls don't hesitate to contact me at any time . we  will waiting for you there and show our more good samples for your reviewing. 

 

評:稍微不簡潔,也未能給充足的理由和動力讓客戶與你聯繫。 

 

Any questions, Pls let me know at any time. Looking forward to your earlier reply!Best regards, 

 

Sam 

 

修改後

Dear John, 

 

一定要找到合適的連絡人,Dear sirs和Dear John的回覆率有好幾倍的差異。Dear sirs,沒有人覺得自己和這封郵件有何關聯。Dear John,就是寫給自己的。就會有關聯性。 

 

Good morning! 

I just visited your web site, and know that you are the leading wholesaler in Poland  for  fashionable gloves, with prestigious reputation for  the quality.   

一開始就談客戶的情況,讓客戶建立興趣,這封郵件和他是有關聯的。

 

You may be happy to find a new reilaible source of gloves  with superior quality & Reasonable prices. You can select  from an abundant variety of premium quality Jeans with stylish originaldesigns updated every 6 monthes. 

點出客戶的利益。 

 

Our factory has a capacity of XXXX gloves monthly, probably the largest in China. Since 2009, we have passed ISO9001, and all our products has CE certificate. I attach the certificate images  in the next email,please find them. 

自信地說自己的實力。 

 

Our satisfied customers include XXX, XXX & XXX. I am confident that when you work with us, you will have the same satisfaction like them. To enable you to get a good understanding of our quality and service, we would like to extend a very special offer for your first sample order, with 15% (only limited to the first container).In the next email, I will attach you the product catalogs. Please tell me what items are more salable for you. 

使客戶採取行動的理由和動力。 

 

Best regards, 

Sam 

PS: We are also very capable to custom make for you. Please just tell me the styles you select. 

 

進一步敦促客戶採取行動。正文部分要能抓住客戶的注意力,讓客戶保持興趣一直讀下去。並在這個過程中被你的產品或offer打動,並最終採取行動回覆你的郵件。 

 

01 一封好的開發信的必備原則

1)簡要原則:現在客戶都很忙。即使是再好的內容,重複說第二次意義不大。寫好開發信先把重複的內容刪掉。能說得簡單通俗越好。

2)讓客戶建立和產品的聯繫感:有的業務員寫的開發信,從頭到尾都是陳述自己是最大最好的,但客戶會覺得這跟我有什麼關係呢? 

  1. a)  從客戶的角度來組織句子。會讓客戶建立更多與自己的關聯。對比以下2句話:
    We are promoting a new plan that we believe has many outstanding benefits. 及 You will be able to generate more sales & profits with our newly improved model XXXX.
  2. b)   Benefits vs product feature 

當我們說我們是最大最好的,What is in it for me? 要吸引客戶,就要把給客戶的利益直接說出來。

3)強力原則:我們說“飛機能幫您節省時間”,和說“飛機能幫您節約很多時間”哪個效果更好呢?在客戶的心理激發起的強度是不同的。所以建議多用能引起客戶強烈反應的形容詞,就能收到更好的效果。 

4)可信原則:客戶收到開發信,初次接觸,憑什麼要相信你呢?所以相關的論點要有客觀的數據支撐。說品質好,比如我們通過了ISO9001,我們產品通過了CE認證,我們有哪些大客戶等等。 

5)促使行動:結尾的部分尤其重要。很多開發信的結尾沒有使用祈使句讓客戶採取行動。整個就像介紹信,客戶只是一個聽眾。如何指望客戶回應你呢?所以結尾部分,建議要採用祈使句,引導客戶回覆。 

 

案例2:

Dear ** 

Glad to know you from your website,that you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. 

This is ***company here.I am sure we are the right one for you to seek vision solution, Industry information,customizing products on your request. 

Maybe we can help you to save at least 10% cost saving with more high quality service. 

Some of our new models,such as Machine vision Lens/ Bi-Telecentric Lens /HD XGA Industrial Cameras,have a bright market at home and abroad. 

Could you please do me a favor to tell me what items are more salable for you?

Best regards, 

Ling 

 

評: Glad to know you from your website,that you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. 

後面再追一句概述他的業務性質、特色的話,表示你對他們慎重地研究了。

比如: I just notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system.

 

This is ***company here. 

(這句話稍不自然,缺少人情味。May I introduce myself to you ? I am XXX, from XXXX. 這樣會更有人情味。)

 I am sure we are the right one for you to seek vision solution, Industry information,customizing products on your request.(後面一句太突然。) 

 

Maybe (這個詞沒有力度,不自信、猶豫不肯定) we can help you to save at least 10% cost saving with more high quality service. 

Some of our new models,such as Machine vision Lens/ Bi-Telecentric Lens /HD XGA Industrial Cameras,have a bright (有點歧義,不如用good,簡單的英語。) market at home and abroad.

Could you please do me a favor to tell me what items are more salable for you? (這句有點突然。) 

 

修改後

Dear XXX,

Good morning!

I am very glad to know you from your professional website, you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. I also notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system. That is where I can be of help. 

 

May I introduce myself to you? I am XXX, from XXXX. We have been in machine vision system industry for more than XXX years. I am confident that we are capable to meet your quality standard, while cutting your cost by at least 10%. Please be sure, we are also very capable to custom produce with your drawings. 

 

To enable you to evaluate our quality, may I invite you to visit our factory?

(或者:may I send you a sample?) 

 

Best regards, 

XXXX 

 

由於情況不一樣,不一定合適。貼這個例子,是希望透過對實際案例的運用,了解開發信如何寫。

 


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